OLDMAN'S HOSPITALITY
RELAX
WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...
STAY AND REST
FOREVER
Let's get it over with!
Misery loves company. Join us!
Services
100 US dollars
60 US dollars
35 US dollars
About Us
At Oldman’s, we offer a one-of-a-kind, no-frills experience for those who know when it’s time to check out—permanently. We’re proud to be the first campground to provide Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) services as part of our guest experience. And remember, just because it’s a medical service doesn’t mean it has to be done professionally. Here, all outcomes are fully personalized (meaning, entirely up to you—unless you opt for our propane services).
Some people overstay their welcome—but not our guests.
We cater to the gritty, socially/ economically disadvantaged old men, those who know they don’t need to break the bank on some glorified, sentimental exit. At Oldman’s, every experience is affordable, unceremonious, and completely undignified—just the way nature intended for those of a kind that are distinctly unexceptional and have failed-miserably.
Digging your own hole? Go for it.
Building your own RV pyre? We’ve got matches and propane, lot's of propane.
Let’s be honest—no one special really cares, so why pay for something special?
Need grief counseling? Well we don't want to hear about it. We will though; $60 is $60.
Had enough? Stay with us, forever!
PS: Get a free shirt if you leave us in your will!
Client Testimonials
Rather Not Say
“They didn't make me fill out any paperwork, provide any ID, or anything for my father-in-law. They just wanted $80 cash. I will definitely be sending the rest of my in-laws here too.”
Joshua B Joseph
“If I could give zero stars, I would. I've been dead before for at least 3 days. I was barely dead an hour here. I didn't think anything could be as miserable and unpleasant as Golgotha, but then I met the staff here. After this, I won't be coming back anytime soon. ”
Jenni Tollwertz
“So, I booked their grief counseling ‘cause it was, like, super cheap. The counselor, Troy, greets me with this weird little smirk and keeps saying my full name—only he’s, like, saying it totally wrong! So I’m like, 'Could you maybe not do that?' but he just keeps saying it like that. And then omg, I get it and I just start laughing which makes him laugh even more. And in my head, I’m like, 'Oh! Okay, this is… fine, I guess.' It was nice to smile again, but, like, I’m not sure that’s what most people would want in a counseling session… WTF is this place? That said, ngl, for me, it was 8/10.”
